How To Get By

Its not the pain, it's the Hope that kills you.

Those were the words I told my friend, Susan( obviously not her real name) who had been gracing the bed of a man she loved but wouldn't commit to her.

He was finely built with brilliant eyes, his 'MO' was his placidity. He listened more than he spoke and made sure whatever he had to say was worth it. It was fair to call him a fine man and Susan was in awe but she wanted to make him hers. She wanted to own him even when she was absolutely certain he was never going to kneel to her.
She knew it, she was nothing more than another woman who warmed his sheets.
The Hope that one day He will see her as more was her slow death.

She asked me, what she could do to get over him.
This was my Reply.

It's two things actually, one will must repudiate and the other we accept.

Accept People for who they Are
People are who they are: Flawed and Selfish.
That's the basic man. Humans no matter how great in character and appearance are selfish and flawed in varying degrees and it is these flaws that make the world as shitty as it is.

Chris Rock once made a joke, he said when you meet people for the first time you dont meet them, you meet their representative. You meet someone they hope to be, a better version to masks their true self.

One thing all humans share is our imperfections, our flaws and through this, I see everyone as same as level and basic as I am, just flawed. It's the balance we all share.

When we do this, we wouldn't think so much of people, we would expect less and thus brings forth little or no disappointments. It's a stress free way to live life.

Desire will kill you

When we have accepted People for who they are, it spontaneously makes people less desirable. The best one can go is admiration.

I've always believed that people who thought less of themselves fell helplessly in love more. They are Reachers in Relationships: People ready to go lengths to keep their partner. They saw more of the things they wanted to be in People then what these People actually lacked and they had in abundance, thus Desire was born.

To give an example? A woman who didnt consider herself pretty would go lengths to keep a man who is handsome and would care less that he's very untidy and carefree.

Desire is blinding.

Dont buy it. Choose to be the desired and not the desiring.
Desiring someone is a precarious situation to have yourself.
Its welcoming a heartache if the emotion goes unrequited.


To end the matter, Do not desire people for everyone is flawed and selfish.