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How to be a fake Pastor
The pianist begins to play
And the choir joins, singing in low-pitched melody as the whole congregation with heads turned,loud shouts and claps look towards one man as he enters into the church.
He's dressed in white down to his shoes of crocodile skin.
He doesn't walk alone, behind him are two body guards and a few men in suit too who we never know what they actually do.
As soon as he hits the Altar, all the claps, shouts and singing halts and the silence commences.
Every face filled with expectation wanted a glance of Him.
He commanded so much reverence, power and fear.
People were ready to do his bidding "in the name of the Lord".
Yes, He is a Pastor
In Africa, Pastors who can do the seeming unbelievable are demi-gods or maybe more.
I saw in the news, a certain pastor, 23 from South Africa who does alot of wonders. He literally stumps his members on the floor and gives them animals to eat; if your jaws aren't dropped yet, I mean he gives his members snakes and rats to eat with the promise that it will change to chocolate in their mouths.
The wonder isn't the things he say, it's that human beings with a functioning brain believe these things.
I mean a human being opens his mouth to see a snake; a freaking snake dangling in front of him going into his mouth.
There is another, Pastor was overseeing a marriage and relationship counselling session and wanted to teach the men how to effortlessly make their wives dripping "wet".
What did he do?
He orders one of the members, who knows, maybe another man's wife from the congregation to be a subject.
What does she do?
She spreads her bare legs wide to the dancing fingers of the pastor. After a few minutes of....never mind.
The point is Pastors, these days get away with almost anything even murder.
But why? What is it that makes a pastor so powerful and how can one be a fake pastor?
Lets get to it.
The first ingredient is becoming a fake pastor is to be CHARISMATIC.
To be followed, you need to have the power of irresistible apeal, and the key is confidence and a right blend of words.
Firstly, you need to be totally confident;talking confidence, dressing confidence and walking confidence.
People are either attracted or scared of a completely confident person and you need people to adore and fear you to be able to manipulate them.
Secondly, A fake pastor must be equipped enough to say the most reassuring and convincing lies.
It's all part of the confidence package; to blurt out your hideous thoeries that people should buy into with such conviction.
I remember a certain PASTOR, she came up on her T.V programme to host a warning to all women.
She instructed all women to stop wearing trousers and that God was angry with women for wearing trousers.
I'm not saying she's a fake Pastor but to the best of my knowledge, that definitely wasn't from God.
The point is the confidence to command people to discard trousers, something as nice and comfortable as trousers, that's a big "Fake Pastor" Attribute.
Next in line, be able to CONJURE.
In the book of Matthew, the Pharisees and the Sadducees approached Jesus demanding for a sign.
It infuriated Jesus, He branded them evil and adulterous.
I ask myself,whats so wrong in asking for a sign?
Well,it shows a void of faith in God, it expresses man's selfish nature to have but not to give.
Christains who rush towards miracle centres are people with little or no personal relationship with God.
Good news for a fake Pastor is this, a chunk of the population are this way; evil and adulterous.
So in whatever way you can,make a sign happen and earn their attention and loyalty.
Last not not least.
Target the women
In most African homes, women take up the spiritual responsibilities; they hold the post of "undisputed prayer champion" and that only translates to one thing, which is? They make up the bulk of faithful members in a church,they are unwavering.
They are more likely to do any spiritual exercise for the sake of their children and husband.
I remember a woman who was desperately looking for a child, she fell into the hands of some fraudsters who posed as Pastors. She paid them for 'this spiritual activity' that will give her children and so,they reassured her that the holy spirit will visit her with the sole aim of impregnating her and all she had to do always close her eyes.
Boy o boy, she closed her eyes so tight that she couldn't see she was being filmed naked as the "holy spirit" came visiting.
Women,
They make up the most gullible and vulnerable group in a church.
Target them,win their trust and enrich your pocket.
So,the question is this
Do you have what it takes to be a fake Pastor?
And the choir joins, singing in low-pitched melody as the whole congregation with heads turned,loud shouts and claps look towards one man as he enters into the church.
He's dressed in white down to his shoes of crocodile skin.
He doesn't walk alone, behind him are two body guards and a few men in suit too who we never know what they actually do.
As soon as he hits the Altar, all the claps, shouts and singing halts and the silence commences.
Every face filled with expectation wanted a glance of Him.
He commanded so much reverence, power and fear.
People were ready to do his bidding "in the name of the Lord".
Yes, He is a Pastor
In Africa, Pastors who can do the seeming unbelievable are demi-gods or maybe more.
I saw in the news, a certain pastor, 23 from South Africa who does alot of wonders. He literally stumps his members on the floor and gives them animals to eat; if your jaws aren't dropped yet, I mean he gives his members snakes and rats to eat with the promise that it will change to chocolate in their mouths.
The wonder isn't the things he say, it's that human beings with a functioning brain believe these things.
I mean a human being opens his mouth to see a snake; a freaking snake dangling in front of him going into his mouth.
There is another, Pastor was overseeing a marriage and relationship counselling session and wanted to teach the men how to effortlessly make their wives dripping "wet".
What did he do?
He orders one of the members, who knows, maybe another man's wife from the congregation to be a subject.
What does she do?
She spreads her bare legs wide to the dancing fingers of the pastor. After a few minutes of....never mind.
The point is Pastors, these days get away with almost anything even murder.
But why? What is it that makes a pastor so powerful and how can one be a fake pastor?
Lets get to it.
The first ingredient is becoming a fake pastor is to be CHARISMATIC.
To be followed, you need to have the power of irresistible apeal, and the key is confidence and a right blend of words.
Firstly, you need to be totally confident;talking confidence, dressing confidence and walking confidence.
People are either attracted or scared of a completely confident person and you need people to adore and fear you to be able to manipulate them.
Secondly, A fake pastor must be equipped enough to say the most reassuring and convincing lies.
It's all part of the confidence package; to blurt out your hideous thoeries that people should buy into with such conviction.
I remember a certain PASTOR, she came up on her T.V programme to host a warning to all women.
She instructed all women to stop wearing trousers and that God was angry with women for wearing trousers.
I'm not saying she's a fake Pastor but to the best of my knowledge, that definitely wasn't from God.
The point is the confidence to command people to discard trousers, something as nice and comfortable as trousers, that's a big "Fake Pastor" Attribute.
Next in line, be able to CONJURE.
In the book of Matthew, the Pharisees and the Sadducees approached Jesus demanding for a sign.
It infuriated Jesus, He branded them evil and adulterous.
I ask myself,whats so wrong in asking for a sign?
Well,it shows a void of faith in God, it expresses man's selfish nature to have but not to give.
Christains who rush towards miracle centres are people with little or no personal relationship with God.
Good news for a fake Pastor is this, a chunk of the population are this way; evil and adulterous.
So in whatever way you can,make a sign happen and earn their attention and loyalty.
Last not not least.
Target the women
In most African homes, women take up the spiritual responsibilities; they hold the post of "undisputed prayer champion" and that only translates to one thing, which is? They make up the bulk of faithful members in a church,they are unwavering.
They are more likely to do any spiritual exercise for the sake of their children and husband.
I remember a woman who was desperately looking for a child, she fell into the hands of some fraudsters who posed as Pastors. She paid them for 'this spiritual activity' that will give her children and so,they reassured her that the holy spirit will visit her with the sole aim of impregnating her and all she had to do always close her eyes.
Boy o boy, she closed her eyes so tight that she couldn't see she was being filmed naked as the "holy spirit" came visiting.
Women,
They make up the most gullible and vulnerable group in a church.
Target them,win their trust and enrich your pocket.
So,the question is this
Do you have what it takes to be a fake Pastor?
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