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The Marriage Paradox
When building our house, my mom came up with an idea to confect an apartment for tenants. It's been 4 years and 2 tenants since the idea was birthed and 1 thing has been constant.
The first tenant was a young couple with a 3 month old baby. In all my life on this earth, I have never seen a pair fight more than this couple. This wasn't a case of domestic violence, it was always an even combact. The wife matched her husband punch for punch and more often than not came out on top.The fights continued weekly up until they left.
Then comes the second couple with their oldest child being about 6. They looked really youthful but acted like they had been married for a century; all sorts of spark were gone. The unique part of their relationship was that the man was the nagger.
The lowest I saw their relationship sink to was when he told his three little kids to monitor all that his wife would say in his absence, probably to add to his ammunition for tomorrow's session of bleating.
You know the popular phrase "doctors are flirts"? I don't know if it's particularly true but a friend told me that in his Alma mater some doctors were notoriously known to chase anything rounded in a skirt. It made me wonder how the wives must feel, completely oblivious of the last vagina their husband's penis must have been in.
I know the problem isn't with our apartment or the medical profession, this is just a representation of most marriages. Too many Nigerian marriages are an activated time bomb with the slimmest success rates. It's incredibly difficult to find a genuinely happy couple still so In love with each other after some years. They are often two kids or a financial slump away from catastrophe.
What's the message I am passing? Marriages are really scary. It's an institution more likely to fail than end in bliss, and so it makes me wonder why it's celebrated so much.
I am in no way against the idea of spending the rest of your being with someone you enjoy. My concern is people's attitudes to marriage.
Marriage is seen as a feather to the cap and a climb on society's "acceptance scale". A great deal of women daydream of the day and fashion of their engagement, beauty of the ring and the social media show off, and all of this is what I am against; the importance placed on finding a husband, the momentousness of starting a family.
Agree with me?
The lowest I saw their relationship sink to was when he told his three little kids to monitor all that his wife would say in his absence, probably to add to his ammunition for tomorrow's session of bleating.
You know the popular phrase "doctors are flirts"? I don't know if it's particularly true but a friend told me that in his Alma mater some doctors were notoriously known to chase anything rounded in a skirt. It made me wonder how the wives must feel, completely oblivious of the last vagina their husband's penis must have been in.
I know the problem isn't with our apartment or the medical profession, this is just a representation of most marriages. Too many Nigerian marriages are an activated time bomb with the slimmest success rates. It's incredibly difficult to find a genuinely happy couple still so In love with each other after some years. They are often two kids or a financial slump away from catastrophe.
What's the message I am passing? Marriages are really scary. It's an institution more likely to fail than end in bliss, and so it makes me wonder why it's celebrated so much.
I am in no way against the idea of spending the rest of your being with someone you enjoy. My concern is people's attitudes to marriage.
Marriage is seen as a feather to the cap and a climb on society's "acceptance scale". A great deal of women daydream of the day and fashion of their engagement, beauty of the ring and the social media show off, and all of this is what I am against; the importance placed on finding a husband, the momentousness of starting a family.
My ideal society is one where choosing not to be married isn't frowned at, where weddings aren't a big deal and what's really celebrated is a working marriage.
Agree with me?
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