Marriages: Why yours is likely going to fail

 

I had a conversation with Mercy, a then 27year old 'unmarried' girl to whom I was preaching my gospel of why everybody should be scared of marriage. I revealed to her how abusive and draining the marriages of literally everyone around me was. Her reply? "My case will be different".

Are you probably saying the same thing too or close? News flash, Science disagrees. There are a myriad of studies that aim to prove that you may be better off without a partner. 

First off is a study dated as far back as 2007 by Obi and Ozumba, that had unflattering numbers on the level of domestic violence women face in the South East of the country. A staggering 70% of respondents reported being victims of domestic violence and an unsurprising 92% were women.

It gets even worse, Nigeria's rate of domestic violence was at 48% two years ago: we can all agree this figure is both grossly misrepresented and even higher now. In other words, as a woman, your chances of getting ass whooped by the man who swore would love you forever is tantamount to a coin toss.

If you ask me, the first step in beating the odds to a happy home is accepting how risky marriages are and the likelihood that yours might end up a nightmare. Accepting this relatively 'impending' reality is a step in the right direction. So I'm saying that a reason why your marriage will fail is because you don't expect it to.

If I haven't offended you yet, kudos. Let's go on. In our society, a woman's biological clock is of interest to every person. Everyone has something to say about a woman's age to her Marital status, childbirth or the sex and number of children. This biological clock is such a burden on a woman and the man dating that woman, and this is another reason why your Marriage is likely to fail. I'll explain. 

The biological clock starts ticking around the ages of 26, and the longer it takes for a woman to find a partner, the less she cares for compatibility. It's a sad transition from being happy and free to one who just wants a 'marriage-able' man. This rings calamity; it's knowing your husband in marriage and you could just be in for a really big surprise.

Money, and by all means lots of it will decide how well your marriage will go irrespective of the multitude of love you feel for your husband. Even to the wealthiest of people, there's always a time where the influx of cash withers down. Nobody escapes it, and some couples have it way worse than others. In this phase, the flaws of your partner become increasingly unmanageable which in turn leads to more fights, less enthusiasm for sex and an eventual disinterest in your partner.

Last of my reasons why marriages fail is CHEATING. I have had female friends tell me that cheating isn't a deal breaker for them even in marriage, that they expect it because it's in a man's DNA to be unfaithful. This statement isn't exactly true, what hurts about cheating isn't exactly the expectation of faithfulness. Cheating hurts because you love who you're with and a huge part of your consciousness has owned that person. If a person can be fine with sharing their partner with someone else then that marriage is over. The likelihood of sharing your husband with other women and the chances of raising a child that isn't yours are unsurprisingly too high.

Habits take a lot of effort breaking and replacing, and people aren't usually keen on taking the hard long road. If your partner isn't making the efforts towards faithfulness before marriage, then, they won't be faithful in marriage. Marriage doesn't change anybody, it infact amplifies your worst self. 

So ladies and gentlemen, marriage is a scary thing. It's as good as signing up to be abused, cheated on and broken. Sadly the alternative is living life alone, sad and most likely depressed. Either way, we are fucked.