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Illusions
I have a friend named Jane. Well, Jane isn't her real name but we will call her Jane today. Jane is a feminist, she is the most active women rights' activist you will ever find on social media platform. One her twenty third birthday Jane launched a book and the title was quite intriguing. It read,"She is the man of the house". I mean how can she be the man of the house? Where will the man be? If he does, that's understandable but to just overthrow him that's bizzare.
On the copy she reserved for me she wrote: To My darling sweetheart Toby, I hope this book always reminds you of your rights in your marriage.
When my husband comes across this book on the dressing table a month later he laughed and he said, "na the person wey go marry this your mumu friend I dey pity for. She is so irresponsible and definitely not a wife material"
The next year Jane got married and my husband went reluctantly. He was angry because he presumed the marriage would be annulled in less than a year, so why waste his time in attending the farce of a ceremony, and why even bother inviting people when she wanted to be a husband and not a wife? I had to beg him to attend. I never attended any social function without my husband, and I always felt vulnerable without him beside me after ten years of being together. After the wedding Jane and her husband moved out of abuja, she never told me why they moved around alot but all I know was that Jane had quit her job at the office and told everyone she was moving out of the country.
I didn't see or speak with Jane for a long time but we bumped into each other on Parents day at our children's school fifteen years later. I always bought her books and one time my husband had an argument and he was bent on making me understand that it was all a sham, that if she really behaved the way she made her readers believe she did that her marriage would not have lasted and nothing would have made me agree if not for what happens next.
I was more than overwhelmed when my son, J.D introduced his best friend to me and Jane walked into the school auditorium looking for her son who was coincidentally my son's best friend. His name was Sam and he looked just like his father.
"Ah, Jane! is this really You? I thought you and Samuel were in Canada. I never thought you were in the same Abuja with me oh" I said as we walked to a small corner for privacy.
"It's not my fault my sister" Samuel gets transferred alot so we have to move all the time. We recently got back to Abuja in January and I lost your number a long time ago". She said.
That was when I noticed how thin she was. She wasn't looking like Jane at all.
"What about you? Your work and your own life? It is so unlike you to tour around the country because because your husband it getting transfers here and there "
"Toby, I'm a mother now and I have responsibilities and so many things to think about. Let's leave this feminism talk for another day."
Spending time with Jane made me realise that the worst thing to do to your marriage is listen to the advice of most women who out one thing on paper, and go ahead to do the direct opposite.
By Toby
On the copy she reserved for me she wrote: To My darling sweetheart Toby, I hope this book always reminds you of your rights in your marriage.
When my husband comes across this book on the dressing table a month later he laughed and he said, "na the person wey go marry this your mumu friend I dey pity for. She is so irresponsible and definitely not a wife material"
The next year Jane got married and my husband went reluctantly. He was angry because he presumed the marriage would be annulled in less than a year, so why waste his time in attending the farce of a ceremony, and why even bother inviting people when she wanted to be a husband and not a wife? I had to beg him to attend. I never attended any social function without my husband, and I always felt vulnerable without him beside me after ten years of being together. After the wedding Jane and her husband moved out of abuja, she never told me why they moved around alot but all I know was that Jane had quit her job at the office and told everyone she was moving out of the country.
I didn't see or speak with Jane for a long time but we bumped into each other on Parents day at our children's school fifteen years later. I always bought her books and one time my husband had an argument and he was bent on making me understand that it was all a sham, that if she really behaved the way she made her readers believe she did that her marriage would not have lasted and nothing would have made me agree if not for what happens next.
I was more than overwhelmed when my son, J.D introduced his best friend to me and Jane walked into the school auditorium looking for her son who was coincidentally my son's best friend. His name was Sam and he looked just like his father.
"Ah, Jane! is this really You? I thought you and Samuel were in Canada. I never thought you were in the same Abuja with me oh" I said as we walked to a small corner for privacy.
"It's not my fault my sister" Samuel gets transferred alot so we have to move all the time. We recently got back to Abuja in January and I lost your number a long time ago". She said.
That was when I noticed how thin she was. She wasn't looking like Jane at all.
"What about you? Your work and your own life? It is so unlike you to tour around the country because because your husband it getting transfers here and there "
"Toby, I'm a mother now and I have responsibilities and so many things to think about. Let's leave this feminism talk for another day."
Spending time with Jane made me realise that the worst thing to do to your marriage is listen to the advice of most women who out one thing on paper, and go ahead to do the direct opposite.
By Toby
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