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Parents, Pressure and Children
I remember my secondary school teacher Mr something something who taught CRK, he told us he kissed his wife in front of his young kids. As teens, that was the kinda talk we liked; any talk that made us feel like incoming adults. When we asked why, he said it was to take pressure off the kids and make them realise at an early age what marriage was all about.
That young???
I honestly felt his reasons were utter nonsense. That was my thought then though but you know what now, I still think it is nonsense but there's something noteworthy about pressure from parents on their children.
I'm not talking about parents forcing careers on their children. Of course not,it's no news that in today's Nigeria no career is safe. It's how they shape your life with expectations and goals.
I'm not a parent and probably don't know what it's like but I'm a child (adult child,lol) ,an elder brother and most likely you're too. I won't forget what it was like being a child to a parent when I become a parent. I would remember just how growing up was , how it felt, what I wanted and what I ran away from. Parents seem to forget what it was like and so they seek to conform you into "that perfect child" all parents want to be proud of.
To be honest, all that our parents want us to be is never anything bad or less of what we want for ourselves. It's just that they focus too much on what we are to become and give less attention to "the how we can become what they want".
Simply put, do these following sentences sound familiar?
Be a good girl/boy
Stay away from girls/boys
Make us proud
Be a good Christian
Always read your books
And the endless list goes on.
These words put that pressure on young adults to always appear right.
I'm not saying parents shouldn't say these things, they aren't wrong. I want parents to be more involved in their children's life
To teach them
How to be a good/boy or girl
How to stay away from boys/girls
How to make them proud and be a good Christian
How not to be distracted and always face their books.
So that if calamity strikes, they won't be shifting ownership of the child.
I'm not talking about parents forcing careers on their children. Of course not,it's no news that in today's Nigeria no career is safe. It's how they shape your life with expectations and goals.
I'm not a parent and probably don't know what it's like but I'm a child (adult child,lol) ,an elder brother and most likely you're too. I won't forget what it was like being a child to a parent when I become a parent. I would remember just how growing up was , how it felt, what I wanted and what I ran away from. Parents seem to forget what it was like and so they seek to conform you into "that perfect child" all parents want to be proud of.
To be honest, all that our parents want us to be is never anything bad or less of what we want for ourselves. It's just that they focus too much on what we are to become and give less attention to "the how we can become what they want".
Simply put, do these following sentences sound familiar?
Be a good girl/boy
Stay away from girls/boys
Make us proud
Be a good Christian
Always read your books
And the endless list goes on.
These words put that pressure on young adults to always appear right.
I'm not saying parents shouldn't say these things, they aren't wrong. I want parents to be more involved in their children's life
To teach them
How to be a good/boy or girl
How to stay away from boys/girls
How to make them proud and be a good Christian
How not to be distracted and always face their books.
So that if calamity strikes, they won't be shifting ownership of the child.
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